The Best (and Worst) Twitter Trending Dad Jokes 👋

“Siri,” I asked my phone, “why am I so bad with women?" She responded, “I’m Bixby, you moron.”

Reddit has gone fully green to help the environment. Their front page is made of 100% recycled material.

I have a joke about trickle down economics. But 99% of you will never get it.

Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams play basketball together? He shoots, he scores!

I bought Spotify premium for an uninterrupted music experience. But I still hear my wife’s bickering between songs.

Yogurt is the most high class dairy product to buy. It’s so cultured.

What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!

so now it’s cool to walk into the bank with gloves and a mask but when i wanted to do it, it was a felony

Did you know the original programmer of Oregon Trail was beaten to death by mentally ill Discworld fan? He died of dissin' Terry.

What did the Japanese cannibal eat for dinner? Raw men

I think it's just deplorable all the sexist people who want to undermine Katherine Bouman's role in the black hole photo. we all know with NASA's budget they could of never afforded a man.

My sister is taking part in a social experiment. She has to wear a “Boris is doing his best “ t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far she’s been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at her! I’m curious to see what happens when she goes outside.

Angela Merkel arrives at the Passport Control at the Charles de Gaulle airport, Paris. "Nationality ? " asks the immigration officer. "German," she replies. "Occupation?" "No, just here for a few days."

Donald trump said he cares more about the health and safety of the American public than he does about money. Well *I* laughed when he said it.

The house just voted to decriminalize marijuana and Oregon recently decriminalized hard drugs. It looks like drugs is winning the war on drugs.