The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up.'
Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, 'When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.' 'Oh yeah?' the son retorts. 'Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.'
A cop started crying while he was writing me a ticket. I asked him why and he said, 'It's a moving violation.'
Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
I can always tell when my wife is lying just by looking at her. I can also tell when she’s standing.
What do lawyers wear to work? Law suits.
What do you call a locomotive carrying bubble gum? A chew chew train.
Where do polar bears keep their money? The snow bank.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either.
At my cousin's birthday party, I held up a photo of my uncle and said "It's amazing how you look just like your father did at 40!" That's the last quinceañera I get invited to.
My girlfriend is irreplaceable. Wish I kept the receipt now.
Did you hear about the rumours about Iraq? I heard they are going to invade America in order to install democracy there.
You know how when your mouth waters when someone's grilling? Do vegans drool when someone is outside and is mowing their lawn?
In the Store with my wife I saw a box of beer on offer for half price so I said can I have them? she said no, budget is tight, I said well you just bought lots of makeup, she replied, that is to make me look beautiful, I replied.. That is what the beer was for.
I just saw a council worker squash a Snail under his boot. I asked him "what the fuck did you do that for?"He replied "I'm sick to death of him following me around all day".