The Best (and Worst) Daily Dad Joke of the Day 👋

Not to be alarming but, BEEP BEEP BEEP

John brings his car into a mechanic for an inspection Mechanic: Everything seems to be working OK, except your car horn is broken.John: No, it's not broken, it's just indifferent.Mechanic: What do you mean, indifferent?John: Well, it just doesn't give a hoot…

I wanted to go on a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.

6:30 is my favorite time of day, hands down.

What's blue and not very heavy? Light blue.

I know why this entire country has gotten so cold. It's because Trump stopped blowing hot air that kept all of us warm.

Why is it called “The Mall” Because instead of going to one store, you’re going to “Them all”

Last night i opened my window and let all mosquitoes in. Then i slept outside. This is called confusing the enemy

what do you call a fake fish? a de"koi">!(if you don't get it, say it out loud)!<

A guy walking down the road ,comes across a farmer. This farmer has boxes upon upon boxes of peaches, in the middle of nowhere mind you. The guy, buys a few peaches and asks the farmer, “what do you do with this massive amount of peaches”The farmer replies ‘well we sell what we can, and what we can’t we can.’

I've decided to pour a new foundation for my porch. I want to make concrete changes to my life.

Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.

I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. "No," I said. "It's to look at."

Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado.

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald Duck!"