The Best (and Worst) Daily Dad Joke of the Day 👋

What is a calendar’s favorite food? Dates.

[OC] My first music class in school started with the teacher letting us check out the instruments to decide what we wanted to play. I put a thump on a drum. I put a twang on the guitar. I even put a honk on the saxophone. After I was given my instrument I confessed that I wanted to play the bell. My teacher told me that if I liked it then I should have put a ring on it.

In the onion kingdom, the red onions ruled over all other onions. The red onion King was a well respected ruler. However, one fateful day, the spring onions rebelled. As the red onion King was thrown from his dais, he turned to the leader of the rebellion. "You'll never truly be King! You're nothing but a shallot-on!"

What did the shy pebble wish for? That he was a little boulder.

Did you hear the one about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground? It was a knot-for-profit.

If prisoners could take their own mug shots…They’d be called cellfies.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What did the blanket say to the bed? I’ve got you covered.

Cattle feed shopping Recently I got to know of this site which sells excellent Cattle feed. It mainly constitutes grain supplement and came highly recommended. However I was disappointed with the quality when it was delivered. I had to give them the feed back.

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said 'parking fine.'

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Student: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: It's 'may.' Student: No, it's January.

I'm worried for the calendar because its days are numbered.

How do you throw a party in outer space? You planet.

I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden, but how am I supposed to know when it is raining in Sweden?