The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

So this guy with three dicks walks into a clothier shop to buy a pair of tailored pants When the pants are done the tailor asks how they fit him."Like a glove."

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

Just say NO to drugs!' Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

Where do terrorists go when they die? Everywhere.

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

How do you get a blind person to see? Usually by boat.

When I die, I want to be cremated. It’s my last chance to have a smokin’ hot body.

Here’s Something weird about the English language Nothing in the English language start with N and ends in GSpoiler it’s a joke Okay was not expecting so many people not to get it I know there’s lots of words I’m just saying the word nothing does

Over heard my flat earth believing friend talking about global warming.. I told him to make up his mind.

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

One secret policeman asks another, “What do you think of the regime?” ... Nervously, the second policeman replies, “The same as you, comrade.” At that point the first one pulls out handcuffs and says, “In that case, it is my duty to arrest you.”

I went to a smoke shop only to discover it’d been replaced by an apparel store.

I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.

My son has his BA and his MA—but his P­A still supports him.