The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

A German soldier, Japanese soldier, and Italian soldier were interrogated A German soldier said he would not speak, but he did. The Japanese soldier said he would resist, but he spoke, and the Italian soldier was the only one who did not speak. When they asked him how he resisted, he said "my hands were tied"

If you think the name Jack Hiscock is bad You should feel even worse for his sister, Sharon.

What is the definition of torque? When you have to piss with morning wood, you push your dick down so hard that your feet fly out from under you. That's torque.

I just got my annual prostate exam. My doctor has me drop my pants and place both my hands on the table. He gets behind me and does his inspection.The odd thing is though, both of his hands are always on the table too.

I let my daughter touch a fork for the first time. Where she put it was shocking.

I saw a naked old lady I said "You look foxy."She said "Do you really think so?"I said "Yes, their titties are on their stomachs too!"

*Walks in on my dad inserting a bullet up his ass* My dad: ''Don't worry, I'm just fucking around''

I don't Bolivia Peru-v it.

What do you call an ISIS member who owns 6 goats? A pimp

Did you hear about the recent discovery of a giant, reptile-like predator with hemorrhoids? It was a Tyrannosaurass.

How do you live with a terminal disease? You don't.

My wife said she was going to put on a slinky dress I can't wait to push her down the stairs

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

A father tells his son that he was adopted. “I want to meet my biological parents,” the son demands. “We are your biological parents,” the father responds. “Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in twenty minutes.”

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”