The Best (and Worst) Horrible & Terrible Dad Jokes 👋

What is brown, hairy, lives in the desert, has four legs, two humps, and is full of cement? A camel - I put in the cement just to make it harder.

Warning, English not my first language, so sorry if hard to understand The creative writing students all shifted a little uneasy as they realized they had clearly picked the wrong professor

How do you know if the mosquitos are really big? When their sucking feels good.​​A joke told my my grandfather about when he was stationed in the woods in the army.

What is the average temperature in China? 451° F

I wonder what turtle tastes like? It tastes like plastic.

My Tinder match said she’d talk to me again when she got home... Guess she’s homeless.

It’s because they can’t see sh!t at night.

To the person who stole my depression medication: I hope you're happy now.

I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.

“Did you hear that I’m reading a book about anti-gravity? It’s impossible to put down.”

My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.

I got into a discussion with my coworker today about surnames. How they originated from what people were known for. Smith, shoemaker, etc. Well my great great great great great great grandfather's name was Horace P. Horsefucker. He got a bad rap. It was consensual...though the horse said neigh.

There’s a reason why China has so many fake items And the reason is because the Chinese have mistaken ‘Copyright’ for ‘Copy Is Right’

I never get school shooting jokes. Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.