The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

What do ISIS and little miss muffet have in common? They both have Kurds in their wayCredit to /u/MolecularAnthony

Missing South Africa In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read: "I miss South Africa." So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read: "I hope this helps."

I was 16 minutes late for my first math lecture, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third. At this rate, I’ll never be there on time.

What's the difference between a prostitute and the American health system? Nothing. They both f*ck around with you and do absolutely nothing unless you pay them.

What do you call it when four kangaroos have sex? A kangbang

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it

Limmerick from The Crown on Netflix There once was a girl named Sally Who enjoyed the occasional dallyShe sat on the lapOf a well-endowed chapAnd cried "Sir! You're right up my alley."

How did the pirate get his ship so cheap? It was on sail..

A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, 'I’m sorry, but you only have ten left.' The patient asks him, 'Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?' The doctor calmly looks at him and says, 'Nine.'

I’m really excited for the amateur autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is open Mike night!

Does anybody know where a guy can find a person to hang out with, talk to, and enjoy spending time with? I'm just asking for a friend.

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.'

My IQ test results came back. They were negative.

I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.'

I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!'