The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”

Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”

What happened to the dating slices of bread that disappeared overnight? Turns out they e-loafed! I hope they grow mold together.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut.

I dreamt about drowing in an ocean made of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta Sea.

In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.

My wife says nothing rhymes with “orange.” And I said, “No, it doesn’t!”

All my friends told me I have no self-awareness Ridiculous, if I had no self-awareness I think I'd know.

I had a big wasps nest under the eve of my roof so I went to the hardware store to find some wasp spray. I found a can and asked a worker if this was good for wasps? He says “No, it kills them.”

Why did the pig jump into the pot of stew? Because it was stew-pig

I always said that I would never ever go walking dark scary tunnels in the earth. But eventually I caved.

I just realized my countertop is made of marble.. I have been taking it for granite all these years.

How many redditors on r/jokes does it take to change a lightbulb? 87. 1 to install the replacement and 86 to point out it’s already been used before.

The local wig shop got broken into last night They've had to replace all the locks