The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

I've been falling asleep listening to comedy specials and I don't think it's good for my health Because I keep feeling funny in the morning.

I performed an opening one night for a surgeon, really funny guy They kicked me out of the hospital and called the cops

I got ripped off at the amusement park. A guy sold me tickets to the ferrous wheel. Turns out it’s made of aluminium.

God: Gabriel, have you finished setting up future events for the 2020s? Gabriel: Yes, God, I have - wait, did you say 2020s plural? As in the decade?God: Of course, what else?Gabriel: I thought you meant 2020 the year.God: You put a decade worth of history in one year?Gabriel: YesGod: Well, shit.

Joke my 12 year old son made up: What do you call it when you throw Mexican food at high velocity? Fa-yeet-a

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. 'She obviously has COVID,' my wife said. 'Why?' I asked. 'Because she has no taste.'

I just got my doctor's test results and I’m really upset. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.

A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!

I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed!

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peak-a-boo accident? To the I-C-U.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.

How do you spell “candy” with just two letters? C and Y.

I have a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.

I like to spend my weekends playing chess with elderly men in the park. But it’s becoming more difficult. You try finding exactly32 old guys.

A cop started crying while he was writing me a ticket. I asked him why and he said, "It's a moving violation."