The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says i'm ok, but i feel like i've dyed a little inside.

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

What’s green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.

Swords will never go obsolete. They're cutting edge technology.

Why do nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.

Anytime I ask a girl with a boyfriend to watch my favorite movie with her, she always ends up being a Liam Neeson fan “No, Taken”

The Beach Boys walk into a bar "Round?""Round?""Get a round""I get a round?""Get a round...""Fuck off" said the bababa bababarman.

" Could you explain to me why I woke up this morning with a cucumber up my ass? " My wife screamed. " Could you explain to me," I yelled back, " Why you didn't wake up when I put it there? "

I finally thought of a joke with just the right amount of dry humor I’ll post it soon

Apparently its illegal to show some cartoons in the middle east Most cities won't screen episodes of The Flintstones but Abu Dhabi doooooooo

This morning I ran about 4.5 miles in just 17 minutes Why can't people keep their large size dogs chained???

I'‌‌m datin‌‌g a‌‌n Englis‌‌h teache‌‌r wh‌‌o keep‌‌s correctin‌‌g m‌‌y gramma‌‌r durin‌‌g sex. Sh‌‌e get‌‌s particularl‌‌y annoye‌‌d abou‌‌t m‌‌y imprope‌‌r us‌‌e o‌‌f th‌‌e colon.