The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

Went out for dinner. After my meal, my waiter asked me how I found my steak. I said "I looked for my baked potatoe and there it was."

Yesterday I went rock climbing and the guy above me kept farting. It was by far the worst ass scent I’ve ever had to deal with.

I was flipping through the channels.... and my wife asked was on the TV. I said "dust"And that's how the fight started.

My drama professor said I had to write 5,000 words on Robert De Niro I only managed three before his private bodyguards wrenched me off him.

Why did the man ask his boss for more salad? He thought he was due a celery increase.

A robber broke into a perfume store... He raided the register and stole everything in the store, he took every last scent.

Three Chinese friends Chu, Bu, and Fu, decided to immigrate to the United StatesIn order to get their visas, they needed to change their names to something more American. Chu became Chuck, Bu became Buck and Fu..... decided to travel back to China.

What do you call a one-legged woman Matiltda

Elton John has changed career and decided to be a stand up comic His new gig is just a little bit funny

Todays News: Russia takes a step towards inclusivity by establishing new task force comprised of Gay/Bi/Pan/Trans/etc enlistees... Introducing: The KGBT

A tortoise beat up a snail pretty bad. The snails two friends wanted revenge and so they asked him "do you recollect anything. His name, build, marks etc?"The snail said "No I don't. It happened so fast:-("

What's the difference between a red onion and a brown onion? About 50 cents

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'

My IQ test results came back. They were negative.