The Best (and Worst) Lame & Dodgy Dad Jokes 👋

A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. 'You can't cut me down,' the tree complains. 'I’m a talking tree!' The man responds, 'You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.'

Can February March? No, but April May!'

I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.'

Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.

I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. 'No,' I said. 'It's to look at.'

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant.'

If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?

I asked the IT guy, 'How do you make a Motherboard?' He said, 'I tell her about my job.'

I ate a clock the other day. It was very time consuming.

How does a non-binary samurai kill people? They/Them.

I can’t find my ‘Gone in 60 seconds’ DVD. It was here a minute ago.

Finally my winter fat has gone… Now, I have spring rolls.

My friend claims he glued himself to his autobiography. I don't believe him, but that's his story and he's sticking to it.

I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.

Can anyone tell me what oblivious means, because I have no idea.