The Best (and Worst) Really Bad & Awful Dad Jokes 👋

I had to sell my vacuum cleaner. All it was doing was gathering dust.

What's the difference between a red onion and a brown onion? About 50 cents

I don't know what the big deal is about Black Friday. All Fridays matter.

School report. My teacher gave us an assignment to tell her our idols and then say what we would do if they walked in our house. I got off easy because I said Stephen Hawking.

In the city, you ignore sirens and listen for gunshots. In the country, you ignore gunshots and listen for sirens. In Detroit, you ignore both.

The other day I walked in on my grandmother sucking my grandfather's d*ck. I just find it weird that they didn't cremate it with the rest of him.

As a child I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day to survive. Luckily my older brother told me about it.

I almost fell for the Nigerian Prince Scam Jokes on them I already know Nigeria doesn't exist

What do you have to do to get Germans to join a war? You don't have to do anything, they're already at the front.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in? He went to see Closed for the Winter.

Did you hear about the guy who froze to death at the drive-in? He went to see Closed for the Winter.

One friend complained to another, 'All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.' 'If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?' asked the second friend. 'I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.'

Why was the traffic light late to work? It took too long to change.

I haven’t talked to my wife in a week — I didn’t want to interrupt her.