The Best (and Worst) Really Bad & Awful Dad Jokes 👋

Why do pirates like to play the lottery so much? They really love ArrrrNG!

"Yeah. Those animals across our southern border have ruined their own country and our trying to invade and ruin ours. With their rampent guns and drugs... their government has become a shambles of nut job military and rich drug addicts who don't care about anyone! Eh?"

Save money on home security and alarm systems by flying flags of politically taboo groups on the front The police will watch your house for free!

I searched for a lighter on Amazon, but all I could find was 401 matches…

If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called.

What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1

The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. Only a fraction of people will understand this

If prisoners could take their own mug shots…They’d be called cellfies.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What do you want?" The man says, "Oh, just some fruit punch." The bartender sighs and shakes his head, "If you want punch, you're gonna have to wait in line." The man looks around, but there is no punchline.

"Cop: I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia." Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

Where do armies belong? In your sleeves.

It’s raining cats and dogs, so be careful not to step in a poodle.

Heard the body paint store now has some color mixes named after emotions Well, color me surprised!also English is not my first language and I am really proud of that shitty joke

An Imperial Roman soldier was wounded on the battlefield. His life was saved when he was time traveled to the modern world to be hooked up to an IV. He asked, "What is that for?"

What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality