The Best (and Worst) Flirty Dad Jokes 👋

When I die, I want to be cremated. It’s my last chance to have a smokin’ hot body.

What happens to Jason Momoa once he dies? He becomes Jason Nomoa.

Girl, are you the secant of angle Z? Cuz you sure are sec(Z)

Prince Harry had his Bachelor Party last night in London and here is his "Quote of the Day" from that memorable event: "It's really weird stuffing money into a stripper's G string when every bill has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."

One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend. “I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.”

Do you know why twins are sexual deviants? They cum in pears.

A mosquito bit my balls last night Got my balls sucked,later virgins

If your man comes home late at night smelling of strange perfume... You're probably getting perfume for Christmas.

"If you could push a button and would receive $100 million, but you would whipe out 50% of the earth's human population (without anyone knowing it was you), would you push that button?" A friend of ours: "I vould push it three times".

Her: I'm leaving. I am sick of you wearing a different t shirt every half an hour. Me: Wait. I can change.

Want to know a fun fact about my social security number? It's long and unique, unlike my penis. But like my penis, has never been used by anyone else.

I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my husband! Quick, try the backdoor."Thinking back, I really should have ran but you don't get offers like that everyday.

Why are piggy banks so wise?' 'They're filled with common cents.'

TIL there are over 20,000 battered women in the U.S. everyday... I don't know if I can ever go back to eating them plain...

Why we rarely see male live streaming masturbation like camgirls? Because the stream ends in 2 minutes!