The Best (and Worst) Flirty Dad Jokes 👋

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!

I went on a date with a blind chick the other day. We made it back to my place and things started getting hot when she reached up my pants. She said " Damn! You have the biggest dick I've ever played with!"I said "Nah. You're just pulling my leg."

I heard my school's principle's husband talk about how she gives good blow jobs She is the headmaster after all

Guy says to a girl on tinder “You can call me the GOAT” “Why? Cause you’re the greatest of all time?” “No, cause I’m gonna eat your bush”

Why is summer a plastic surgeon's favorite season? It's a great time to make some mammories

A man walks into an lift (elevator) He looks at the attractive woman inside and says, "Can I smell your vagina?"Horrified, she moves away from him,"No, you can not!""Oh ok, it must be your feet then"

Sex after a blow up is meant to be the best... ... but I'm always out of breath.

Which instrument players are the sexiest? Violinists. No matter what, their G strings are always sharp af.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold down the pillow long enough.

What's the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus!

As a kid I was told that, "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten." Also when I was a kid I was told by Bob Barker to, "..help control the pet population."I was raised to listen to my elders...

What's it called when a flower gives head? Floral.

U.S. singles may be bills, and Canadian singles may be coins... ...but Asian singles are in my area.

I just had a near-sex experience. My wife flashed before my eyes.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, 'I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.'