The Best (and Worst) Flirty Dad Jokes 👋
Think dad jokes can’t be smooth? Think again! Flirty Dad Jokes is where cheesy meets charming. Explore a collection of playfully suggestive jokes that are sure to get a chuckle… and maybe a little something more. Proceed with a dash of confidence!
Doctor: "i'm sorry to say you've got lung cancer." Patient: [tearing up] "oh god, no!"Doctor: "Sorry to say it because it's not true, lol April Fools!"Patient: [angry] "What the hell?"Doctor: "Yeah, pranked you, the cancer's in your pancreas."
What's the difference between an oyster shucker with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhoea? One shucks between fits, the other fucks between shits.
A sales guy rings the doorbell on a house, and the door is opened by a 12 year old, holding a glass of cognac and smoking a cigar The sales guy is a bit stunned, but plows forward and asks, "Is your dad home?"The kid replies, "What the fuck do you think?"
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
What do you call it when James Bond takes a bath? Bubble
What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroganoff.
My friend asked why I never used condoms I said, "My pull out game is superb and condoms are expensive. You gotta keep a tight budget when you have 14 kids."
A suicide bomber in a pet shop A suicide bomber enters a pet shop and announces... "everybody has only one minute to get out of here..."Tortoise: Fuck :-/
Vaginas are like gyms. I'm rarely inside one, but when I am I just sort of pretend to know what I'm doing and hope no one notices I don't.
Three is a crowd Wife: Love, we’re going to be three people living in this house. Husband: Really? Am I going to be a daddy, love? Wife: Oh, no, love. My mom’s going to come and live with us.
How do nonbinary people hurt each other? They slash them. (They/them)
My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.
What’s the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
Since my wife left, I've bought a motorcycle, drugs and am currently in bed with two prostitutes. She's going to be pissed off when she comes home from work.
A grandmother said to her grandson, "The young men of today just aren't as polite and charming as they were when I was young."He replied, "That's because they aren't trying to fuck you now, Grandma."