The Best (and Worst) Flirty Dad Jokes 👋

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.

I was checking out at supermarket today when I noticed the man in front of me put only one thing on the conveyor belt... A box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on the belt and said "looks like we've both bought something to put on our sausages"

I’m hosting a charity event for men unable to ejaculate. If you can’t come let me know.

I dated a surgeon who turned out to be a kleptomaniac, she stole my heart.. ... and kidney.

What do you call someone who sells herself in exchange for a plate of spaghetti? A pasta-tute

I told my wife to hurry up and get off of her period. So she can get on my exclamation mark.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this ain’t no ordinary blowjob!

So, my girlfriend wanted to try some stuff she saw in the new 50 Shades of Grey movie Girlfriend: I just saw the new 50 shades and I really wanna try something I saw in the move.Me: oh yeahhhh? What’d you wanna try babe?Girlfriend: Fuck a billionaire.

Larry Flynt, creator of Hustler Magazine, has died aged 78. His family have asked fans do not send flowers... ...but to send nudes

Why'd the accused pimp take so long to answer the judge? He wanted to gather his THOTs first.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

Women should not have children after 36—really, 36 children is enough.

I was going to go on an expensive vacation with a classical pianist, but he was too baroque.

I like to do the same thing to my girlfriend that I do with my drum set Pretend that I have one