The Best (and Worst) Flirty Dad Jokes 👋

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

What do butchers and men with Onlyfans accounts have in common? They both get paid to beat their meat.

I had a one night stand, and afterwards she used my toothbrush I made kind of a big deal about it, because that’s pretty grossShe said, “Well we just had sex, what’s the difference?”I said, “*Well* I was planning on using that toothbrush again”

The next LG phone needs to appeal to all audiences and be a plus size phone We'll call it the LGbtq+

I saw a duck mating a pillow the other day... I guess it was DTF

I failed my driving test today. The instructor asked me, “What do you do at a red light?” I said, “I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook.”

I failed my driving test today. The instructor asked me, “What do you do at a red light?” I said, “I usually check my emails and see what people are up to on Facebook.”

My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March.

Is your name Jasmine? Because you've always got Aladdin side you.

My girlfriend got her period in the middle of February. I guess that makes her My Bloody Valentine.

I wish my kids weren't offended by my Frozen jokes. They really need to let it go!

What's the similarity between Santa's presents and a horny virgin? They both come in socks.

Why was the woman turned off when Yoda said "Hello. My name is Yoda. It's nice to meet you." He was being too forward.