The Best (and Worst) Flirty Dad Jokes 👋

My son screeched, Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!? What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.

A guy asks his grandmother... "Granny, have you seen my pills, they're marked LSD". Granny replies, "Fuck the pills, have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!"

Who is Santa Claus? Because if in Spanish, "Santo" or "San" is used for male saints...(San Francisco, San Diego)And "Santa" is used for female saints...(Santa Monica, Santa Barbara)Wouldn't that make Santa Claus transsexual?

If you care so much about my mental health... ...then gimme some brain

Vaginas are like gyms. I'm rarely inside one, but when I am I just sort of pretend to know what I'm doing and hope no one notices I don't.

Whenever I see a commercial with a woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with 2 round slices of cucumber on her eyes ... I wonder where the rest of the cucumber is.

My dad says the only difference between a good meal and a good time.. is where you put the cucumber.

I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family. They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. 'She obviously has COVID,' my wife said. 'Why?' I asked. 'Because she has no taste.'

I bought Spotify premium for an uninterrupted music experience. But I still hear my wife’s bickering between songs.

What did the llama say to his date? “Want to go on a picnic? Alpaca lunch.”

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

Your mom and I let astrology get between us. It just Taurus apart.